Week 1 of my Experiment

See Experiment for details.

I’m finding it a challenge to honor my feelings, to just sit with them. At first my instinct was to run away and my mind does wander, then I remind myself to come back to the feeling. Another day I will notice I am comforting myself against the feelings and I remember not to do that. Another time, I will notice myself reframing the situation. I do believe these are useful strategies to use to manage my feelings when I’m in public or with other people, however this experiment is to take the time to be with my feelings, as difficult as they may be.

What I am able to do now, is to be curious about my feelings and to ask questions like: Where do you feel that in the body? Does it have a colour? When did it begin? Is there anything else you can tell me about it?

I find it helpful to be the witness or the observer. This taking a step back lets me be present without being consumed by the feelings. It also helps my younger self feel like she doesn’t have to do this alone. It’s good for her to know that I am there for her, that I care and I’m looking after her. When she feels safe, the feelings will arise and can be processed.

I think this might be a bit of a process for me but I do believe it is very worthwhile. Even though I can’t really say what the result are yet, I do plan on continuing.

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