This week, when I feel some negative emotion, often worry, I have been saying, I notice that I feel worry in my body. Welcome, worry. I’ll take good care of you. Then I may ask questions with curiosity. What more can you tell me? And then I listen and acknowledge. I might say, oh, I see, or yes, that seems familiar. Then I go about my day knowing that I am bringing worry along with me and that I am ok with that. I mean, let’s face it, worry will be there regardless, so I may as well accept it. I’ve noticed that I feel more calm. I think it stems from not fighting the feelings. I can see now that what I used to do, which was try to calm them, actually feels more like pushing them away or wanting to change them or reframe the situation, when really what feelings want is to be heard. Period. Nothing else needs to be done. When I honor them, accept them and let them be, then they don’t have to keep popping up wanting attention.
I think my old ways were just adding another layer of discomfort because I would feel angry that worry was still there. And that just adds to the fight and I feel even more uncomfortable and end up saying things that turn people off. Whereas when I say hello worry. Sit down. What’s up? Worry feels heard and doesn’t have to keep trying to get my ear. Then I can have a more peaceful experience.