Last year I posted about my gratitude box, where I wrote down each day something I was grateful for and then at the end of the year I read them all.
It was an interesting process to read them all. Some of them I didn’t remember, not many but some. Some I loved and some were bittersweet. These were mostly friendships that had changed from what I had hoped for and while it was nice to remember the experience there was some sadness that it was no more. There were some that on reading felt forced and I can recall when I was writing it and hoping it would fit the bill, but it didn’t.
What I found most interesting was the ones that I loved. It was as if I was right back in that feeling. I was reliving it in all its glory. So this year I want to write more of those. I think I also want to write more about the internal changes that I see happening, for example, the times I was able to have self-compassion. And even the small changes, like noticing that I liked the sounds of the birds singing. I feel good about continuing this process. It’s not only fun to be mindful of gratitude and see the box fill up, but also it’s a nice revenue of the year.
There seems to be a lot of fear around me these days. All kinds of it. For instance, lack of security, helplessness, overwhelm and end of the world kind of fear. I think one way out of it is to do the opposite. If you feel unsafe, then think of trust. What is one thing you can trust? Could be a person, or idea, or belief system that you trust. If it’s helplessness, whats one action you can take? If it’s overwhelm, what’s one thing that calms you? If it’s catastrophic thinking, what’s one thing you feel grateful for?
These times are creating an opportunity for us to practise training new grooves in our brains. This takes time because the old tracks are pretty deep and well worn. This calls for patience with ourselves and self compassion.
It’s true, we don’t know what is going to happen. In fact, we never do. So all we can do is be in the present moment and remind ourselves that this is a wonderful moment. Breath in, “present moment”, breath out, “wonderful moment”. I find this helps reset my brain to a calmer, more comfortable place when I can see more clearly a way to plan out my next step in the practise of becoming more connected to myself